Ole Poke
Southwest Sublette County Pioneers
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PFAC
Pinedale Fine Arts Council
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There's still time to support your favorite Kentucky Derby team
PFAC Kentucky Derby Party May 7 - PFAC fundraiser
May 6, 2016
The Kentucky Derby party on Saturday is SOLD OUT. But that doesn't mean they don't need your support. The Derby tickets are sold out, but you can still party. Come to the Derby Concert featuring Paul Nipper and Rance May, honky tonk from Austin, Texas. Doors open at 7PM, music starts at 7:30PM, Sublette County Fairgrounds. Admission $10 at the door, all ages welcome. Click on the link below to vote for your favorite Derby team – votes $1 each with a $5 minimum. The Kentucky Derby fundraiser starts at 3:30PM with live derby viewing, team races, dinner, dancing and live music (tickets sold out for this part).
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE TEAM!
All money raised goes to support kids art programs in both sides of the county! ________________________________________
Ocean Muffin - descended from Seabiscuit Ocean Muffin is a winning mix of ocean and land, with a hint of Kentucky pumpkin muffin. "Last year we brought Ocean Muffin's brother, Seabiscuit, and put him to the test. He succeeded like a champ." said Eliza Walker, Muffin's owner. Ocean Muffin has been in the Pacific Ocean and Island Derby races. "During the Pacific Ocean Derby we beat the Punchers 1 minute to 7 minutes," says Muffin's Jockey Brooke. "Those Punchers better watch out!" adds Brooke Hornberger. "Our competition should watch their backs because Ocean Muffin is in prime condition for this race! His tail is over 6 inches of pure muffin. His mane is a flame of orange and green." says Muffin's trainer Nathan Lee. We thank 1st Bank, PAC Teen Council and all of our great supporters here at the race today as well as the extreme donations for our muffins. We hope you enjoy Muffin in motion.
******* FRIDAY- 1st BANK BAKE SALE ******* All proceeds support this team. Stop by anytime Friday and see Bankers Gone Wild! Enjoy homemade muffins, breads, croissants and more. You won't want to miss it! ________________________________________
Goldilocks and the 3 Bears The Den's Goldilocks is out of Bear Necessities and Cinderella. She is a two year old palomino mare with flaxen mane and tail and golden slipper eyes of course. She is fast, real fast! And what horse wouldn't be with a grizzly bear on her back and that's her jockey. Her owner is Poo Bear and her trainer is gummy bear. She keeps up her strength with big buckets of oatmeal, just the right size of course. Poo Bear and Don who are her owners, have made their dream come true with The Den! Goldilocks is not too hard, not too soft, she is just right! She will certainly bring home the first prize! So if your out in Daniel stop by and visit Goldilocks and the 3 bears which are our favorite liquid libations at the Den! ________________________________________
Puncher Pride So there we were, strolling along one evening as the sun was setting over the distant hills. As we stopped to look west toward the blindingly bright setting sun, we saw a majestic silhouette charging from the horizon. As the sun dipped lower behind the Wyoming range, the mysterious object came closer and closer until just a mere silhouette began to form a distinguishable shape; that of a wild stallion. The stallion kept charging and for a time, we did not know if he would stop, slow, or plow right through us. As the stallion approached, he stopped abruptly and reared up onto its hind legs. Time seemed to pause infinitely. As he settled back in, he slowly approached us and nuzzled each of us with his nose and then subserviently bowed onto his front legs. Upon closer inspection we noticed a skein of fabric tangled in the hair of his mane. We removed it as best we could and laid it out flat. We could make out part of the word that we assumed to read "Puncher." We aptly named him Pride of the Punchers and at this moment, we knew he was our horse and had the talent and speed to lead us to a victory in the Kentucky Derby. ________________________________________
Joyride American Pi (ð) Even before Joyride American Pi(ð) was a foal he was meticulously engineered for peak performance. His Sire and Dam were picked from continuously running algorithms developed from centuries of horse breeding data and racing knowledge. A perfect match was found after 5 years of computer modeling and strenuous number crunching. As a foal, Joyride American Pi(ð) was kept in stables designed to facilitate exceptional muscle growth and superior racing cognizance. Joyride American Pi(ð) is the epitome of racing efficiency. He weighs in at 950 lbs., 50 pounds lighter than your average thoroughbred racing horse for an enhanced horse chassis. He is capable of velocities in excess of 45 mph, 1.03 mph faster than the highest recorded horse racing speed to date. He has been optimized for an astonishing output of 1.37 horsepower, a feat thought to be impossible by definition. If you want to bet on a horse that won't let you down, bet on Joyride American Pi(ð), a perfect blend between raw natural ability and scientific development! ________________________________________
Caselot Fever Caselot Fever" was foaled in Twin Falls, ID. It's rumored that he was born under a full moon during a Ridley' caselot sale, and was delivered by Mark Ridley himself.
He met his trainer, Geralyn Mivshek, when she was attacked by a herd of vicious bears in the Ridley's parking lot. Caselot Fever bravely came to her aid, and the bond between woman and horse was forged.
Recently there have been allegations that Caselot Fever's recent successes have been due to doping. These unscrupulous attacks can only be seen as a desperate bid by other competitors to discredit the beloved horse. Adam Stucki, Ridley's pharmacist and jockey for the race, vehemently denies that Caselot Fever has been given any performance enhancing drugs. He does, however, note that Caselot Fever does eat a lot doughnuts from the bakery, and that some of the ingredients therein may be unverifiable.
Michelle Cockrelle, current owner of the horse, says "Caselot Fever personifies equine excellence, and will of course win the Run for the Roses. I expect those of our competitors who survive will rue the day they faced Caselot Fever."
After the race, Caselot Fever plans on a career in politics and will run as as an independent candidate for the presidency of the United States. ________________________________________
Ole' Poke Due to the missing equine situation we have been lucky enough to partner with the Bar K Ranch. Owner Karen "Tight Wad" Taylor has agreed to bring back her dream team! Trainer, Holly "the handler" Hanson, super jockey "Jumpin" Joan Mitchell and super star race horse Ole' Poke! Back in the day Ole Poke was the horse to beat and we have all the confidence that he will be in the winner's circle again. Being that he was born and raised in Big Piney we are "depending" on him to save the day. Though they are all coming out of retirement, with the state of the art facilities and diet at the Bar K everyone is shaping up nicely. Ole' Tight Wad herself has personally invested thousands of hours into getting her team ready to race. The Handler as well as Jumpin Joan who us currently attempting to sport her original racing silks (from 40 years ago) have been quarantined and ordered to stay on the ranch to avoid any unnecessary negative press or body image issues. We will keep you posted weekly on our progress as well as any information we might come across regarding the missing Puncher Pride. One last note, rumors are still strong that doping is an issue in this race. We don't want to point any fingers BUT the team in question starts with and R and ends with a 'S!! Hmmmmmm . . . ________________________________________
THANK YOU TO THE SPONSORS!
VIP Sponsors: Puncher Power RIP Sublette Insurance Primo Welding Boulder Store Harber Construction Union Wireless Bank of Sublette County Stelting Law Office Farm Bureau Financial Services Chamber's House B&B Obo's Market and Deli Western Veterinary Services Bennett Construction JB Welding and Excavation Sue Eversull Catering
Trotter Sponsors: Performance Tech Moosecreek Catering M&M Transfer
STUD FEES: Boxcar Arts Western Skies Veterinary Services The Barn Door K Cross Construction Tami Crosson for Sublette County Commissioner Hampton Inn and Suites A to Z Hardware Two Rivers Emporium Stained Glass Sundays Teletractors
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